You are not alone anymore

Last post

2007-05-17T11:21:00.000+08:00

Aria, plz read the entire post.....

This is really going to be the last post for this blog......if i were to blog again, it will be on another blog......this blog is for her.....and now i lost her....there is no more reason for me to stay in this blog.....

Yesterday was a really eventful day for me.....i got her back.....made her angry.....calm her down.....then lost her.....sometimes i really thing WTF i am doing....i gave her my everything, my mind, my time, my spirit and my soul....to wat end?? To her being back with her ex?? just because he is able to be by her side?? I wan so much to fly to her....to be able to hug and kiss her....to be able to sleep by her side, keeping her safe.....but i cant....i'm not rich....i cant just fly to her....i got a lot of other commitments tat i cannot escape from.....

We started out being a normal couple.....we talked abt our future, our hopes. I even started saving money for her....for our future.....but it all seems so bleak now.....i cant even see tmr.....maybe i wont live to have a tmr.....i dont nid a tmr without her....i have always tot that the guys tat she left and were still pestering her were jerks....and now, i am going to be one of them.....but i wont....there is 2 things i will do now.....remind her friend and act tat nth happened between us...tat we are still a couple....but i cant....there is no way i can do tat....its really hard for me to do tat.....then the other thing, i will end my life.....i have nth left....she was the one most impt thing to me in the entire universe....without her, i have nth, nth to live for....

You told me tat you still love me but you onli like him....how could you be so cruel....so cruel to all three of us.....i dunno how he is able to take it....maybe he has done it b4.....but i cant....i cant share you wit another guy.....i just cant....i was so happy when you said all ur friend wanted you to get me back....i felt like i was the happiest man one the planet.....i noe how stupid i am.....to have spent 3 hrs just to guess wat you were saeing......i am so stupid.....

Would anything have been different if i nvr met you? Yes....it will all have been diffferent....if i nvr met you, you will nvr have fallen for me.....i would nvr have inflicted so much pain to you.....you will be togther wit him now happily....without having to think of me.....i dunno if you feel bad doing tat to him....and i dont wan to noe.....all i want is for you to come back to me.....to be my gf again.....we promised not to let anything get between us....and just because of one sentence tat he said, everything changed.....you started liking him again....there are times when i think tat you are not really in love wit me....tat you are just messing around wit me....playing wit me emotions....and then when you are bored, kick me aside....sry Aria...i shldnt have said tat....but if i didnt, then i would be hiding smth from you....tat means i would have broke another promise....

There are oso times when i think tat i am not meant for love.....tat i am unworthy for love.....tat you are too good for me.....tat every girl is too good for me....

I feel tat i shld nvr have existed....or tat i shld have ended my life 2 yrs ago.....

Every part of my body is screaming for me to cut it.....its not me....they really are screaming....and it is so hard to stop.....maybe i shld really do tat.....maybe you wont even feel tat.....the bond we had.....is it gone? Will i not be able to feel you again? Will i not be able to noe wat you are talking abt again?

This is the end of me.....my life has ended....i really dunno wat to do wit my life....throw it away? waste it away? Or continue to live wit it and feel like ending my life everyday....or cry myself to slp everyday.....i really dunno.....i have lost my mind.....i can be bothered wit anything....maybe i wont even hurt if i cut myself....

I noe tat by saeing all this, i'm hurting you.....but the pain you inflicted on me is so much more....you were my first in everything....i was willing to give you all my first even if its not ur first.....i dont care abt ur past....i onli care tat i'm wit you at the present and tat we will have a future tgt.....

I dunno wat else to sae....i will try my best to still be there as ur friend....to talk to you abt ur problems....to talk to you abt him.....i will try all of tat....

You said tat we had a big chance of getting back....but i am not sure....i am going into the same stat as you used to be....maybe i'm tired....tired of love....tired of this world.....maybe i really nid a long break....

I noe tat saeing all this isnt helping you....and like i told you....i wont die yet....i will help get rid of ur fear b4 i will end my life....i will live for you and die for you.....tat is my onli last wish now....

Sry to all those who have cared for me...who have always been there for me....this is really too hard for me to bear....this i goodbye...in case i really cannot take it....Hong Yee, Anna, Charlotte, Denise, Sharon, Rikku, Dinah.....if you were to read this, i am really sry, so so sry....tat i was nvr a good brother to you....i loved all of you....i really do....and i still do....but this is just too hard for me....plz dont be alarmed when you see this....and dont bother to call me...i wont pick it up.....maybe i just nid sometime to get used to it....but i doubt so....time is not a good healer....my heart is frozen and broken....there is nth i can do abt it....she told me tat she will take me back if i can appear infront of her....but it will really be tough for me to do tat.....dont worry...i will try my best to live wit it.....

This is goodbye....goodbye to this blog....goodbye to my Aria.....goodbye to my true love....goodbye to my guiding star....goodbye to my old life.....i have changed...changed to a new person wit not life...no love and no Aria.....

RvD2: Ryan vs. Dorkman 2

2007-04-21T19:06:00.001+08:00

Best Lightsaber Fight

GE Official MV (林宇中 + 金莎 - 復活)

2007-04-14T11:29:00.001+08:00

SRW for the PS2

2007-04-13T13:57:00.001+08:00

Missing You.....

2007-04-07T12:59:00.000+08:00

I'm really sorry tat i couldn't sms you anymore and tat i cant be by ur side to protect you...but i will always think of you, every single waking moment and maybe even in my dreams.
You have changed my life totally. I cant imagine a day without talking to you...not even a few hours...I noe you are off to ur friend's house today and will be home really late, i'm really missing you as i'm typing this...but lets take this as a test before the time when we cannot talk for 3 wks....i totally dunno wat i will do during tat 3 wks...and to make things worse, you are going to you noe where during tat time...even though i noe you will be safe but i still cant help worrying abt it....lastly, i really miss you.....

I Love You....Rach....

Date I Will Nvr Forget And Hope You Wont Too....

2007-04-05T10:20:00.000+08:00

04042007, a day of sadness and joy for both of us. But luckily it ended with more joy than sadness. Hopefully I will be able to keep all the promises I made to you. Love ya forever <3

Granado Espada

2007-04-01T00:15:00.001+08:00

GE's Stance Guide
GE's Stance Requirements

.......................

2007-03-29T23:29:00.001+08:00

Injuries Will Heal As Long As We Are Alive..Even Though It May Leave Scars..They Serve As A Reminder Of The Lesson We Learnt...

Granado Espada 2.0 New Stance - The Defender

2007-03-21T17:39:00.001+08:00

Fighter Owns With This Stance!! Wakaka....

Granado Espada v2.0

2007-03-21T17:38:00.001+08:00

Super Cool....

Happy Valentine's Day To One And All!!!(Belated)

2007-02-15T00:34:00.000+08:00

Haiz...dunno how long nvr blog liao....but since yest was V-day so come and blog for a while.

B4 i sae anything, here's wishing all couples and everything a happy belated V-day!

So, how did you spent ur V-day....i spent mine in sch doing a stupid presentation......stupped rite??? Haiz....wat to do?? Poly students just got no life.....haiz......

Still got so many things to do with so little time....sian ah!!!!

.........................

2006-12-19T13:14:00.000+08:00

為什么王子与公主總是在不适當的時候相遇呢？假如真正偉大的愛情總要歷經重重考驗，那么通過的人會有几個？

Deja vu.....

2006-12-12T23:47:00.000+08:00

Today went to watch Deja vu wit Anna......it was not a bad show........at the same time it rekindled my interest for quantumphysics.......maybe I should write a story wit quantumphysics.....hmm......lol.....I just tot of smth......sry jie......your story is overdued a very long time alrd.....will start writing it tmr......so sry......

anyway.....ning.....if you see this.....plz rem to reply me abt thurs......and btw we go watch Step Up at Lido......k?? tat is if you can make it.....haha.....

oso......mei.....the pics we took were a bit horrible......so if you still wan it tell me k?? and we retake next time k???? haha......and rem to watch my shows!!!!

1 Litre Of Tears......again.....

2006-12-09T21:06:00.000+08:00

Finally holidays alrd.....YAY......and finally finished watching the One Litre Of Tears......its so nice!!! I seriously recommand anyone who sees this to watch it.......it is touching in even episode......

The show made me think of many things......one of which is life itself......

There was a period of time when i seriously thought of end my life......and many events made me almost really did it......but after watching this show.....i thought otherwise........it also make me think of another question.....will i love someone like Aya in the show.....will you??

Photos I'm sending in for exibition.....

2006-11-13T18:07:00.000+08:00

Below are some of the photos tat i'm sending in for an exibition and maybe even for competiton.....plz comment.....

One Litre Of Tears....

2006-11-07T20:48:00.001+08:00

The following is a clip of the japanese drama called "One litre of tears".....personally i think it is a very touching show....thus i put it up here for all to view......

Vivo Trip

2006-10-31T19:39:00.000+08:00

Haiz....dunno how long didnt blog liao....and a lot of ppl are calling me to blog so here goes......anyone interested in going to Vivo City wit me plz leave a tag here or tell me in msn or if you have my hp. give me a msg......date and time has not been confirmed yet.....

Smth I Think Is Meaningful.....

2006-09-16T23:35:00.000+08:00

Fate!

There was a scholar who was to marry his fiancée, but on the day of marriage, his fiancée changed her mind and married someone else. The scholar was devastated and fell ill. His family seek all kinds of medical treatment for him, but still he showed no sign of recovery. They were about to give up hope on him when a wandering monk passed by. After learning about the scholar's condition, the monk walked to the scholar's bed and took out a mirror for the dying man to see. In the mirror, the scholar saw a vast ocean, and the naked body of a murdered woman lay on the beach. A man passed by, looked at the body, shook his head and left. Another man who passed by saw the body, took off his robes to cover the body and left. Finally came a man passing by who saw the body, dug a hole and laid the body carefully to rest before burying it. The scene in the mirror suddenly changed. The scholar saw his fiancée in a nuptial chamber and another man was lifting her wedding veil... The scholar blinked at the monk, confused. Slowly the monk explained, "The woman whose body you saw on the beach was your fiancée in her previous life. In your previous life, you were the second man who gave her his robes to cover her body. To repay your kindness in this lifetime, she loved you for a period of time and became your fiancée. However, ultimately the man whose favor she has to return for the rest of her life is the third man who buried her. And that man is now her husband." Enlightened, the scholar sat up and recovered from his depression.

*** It is truly amazing-this thing called "Fate". There was a movie in which the theme song went like this: "You can say it is a big world, you can say it is a small world. But for the promise of this lifetime, we shall spend our entire lives to fulfil." All of us are in this big grand masquerade, among the throng of people, we seek expectantly... in that electrifying moment when our fingers touch, the masks are removed to reveal our true selves. Before this moment, we were drifting aimlessly, not knowing what we really wanted. Till you meet this particular person, you finally realize what you really want is not what you have wished for in the first place. It amazes you that standing in front of this person is a different you! You without any mask!

Fate is not something meant to be forced upon. What is yours will eventually come to your arms; what is not yours will never come to be. In any case, we should not lose heart and give up on our hopes for love that is true, good and beautiful. The value of life, in a certain sense, is determined by the maturity of how we love. Of how we give and accept love. Treasure what you have... Time is too slow for those who wait; Too swift for those who fear; Too long for those who grief; Too short for those who rejoice; But for those who love... Time is Eternity!

Part 2 of my story.........

2006-09-08T23:51:00.000+08:00

Many hours passed as the six friends lay unconscious on the Plateau of Death.

When she opened her eyes, she found herself staring at a familiar ceiling.

“Lahmyth, you awake?” It was a familiar voice filled with concern.

“...Shore? Where am I?” She asked weakly, suddenly feeling the weight of fatigue that sapped her strength. “What happened?”

The resounding bell that rang a moment later answered her question. She was brought back to the School of Magic together with her other five friends.

The Ablone School of Magic has been the foundation of many well-known wizards and witches. Lahmyth and her friends were also from this school. She and her five friends were once teachers of the school.

“I…I think I saw Elyrean just before I fell unconscious again.” Lahmyth managed to utter.

“That’s not possible. You must be dreaming.” Shore tried to convince her. “He died seven years ago, remember? I think you need more rest.”

Lahmyth only nodded as Shore kissed her forehead before leaving the room. As she laid back on the soft bed, she found a card in her pocket.

Princess, I will also be there when you need me. Remember, no matter what happens, you will always be my Princess and no matter what you do, you will always have a place in my heart.

Elyrean

P.S Don’t tell anyone about this. Okay?

Once she finished reading, a sweet scent that reminded her of roses filled the air and a wave of drowsiness overtook her. Just before she was knocked out, she heard a voice.

“Sweet dreams, my Princess.”

Walking along the corridor, something caught the attention of Haven. It was a blurred black figure with white wings flying out of Lahmyth’s room.

Elyrean, who’s that girl? A voice inside his head asked. Odin, I don’t think now is the time for us to talk about this. Elyrean replied mentally.

Minutes later, Elyrean landed on the front yard of a huge secluded mansion deep within the mountains.

The moment he reached the door, the portal opened. “Master Elyrean.” A man in his late forties called. “I have readied all the things you requested.”

“Thank you, Al.” Elyrean said with a slight bow. “I will be in the library for the next few days and I don’t wish to be disturbed. Just leave the meals outside the door; I will eat them when I’m hungry. Understood?”

“Yes, Master Elyrean.”

A word that sounded very much like good escaped Elyrean’s mouth just before he disappeared with a snap of his fingers.

Things I Vowed Never To Do.....

2006-09-05T22:03:00.000+08:00

1. Smoke

2. Gamble

3.Hit a girl

4.Be the cause of a girl's tears

5.Allow myself to cry for a girl

We are all not free creatures......there will always be something or someone hold us back.......

For You......

2006-09-04T23:28:00.000+08:00

I hate to see people feeling hurt.....especially one that i love......one of my god-sisters.....

For you......

You noe who i'm refering to ......i wan to help.....but i cant help you if you dont tell me wat happened.....i noe you dont have the mood to tell me but i will wait.....just like the other time......wait for you to tell me wat happened.......i dont claim to understand ur pain.....but i would be more than gald to share it wit you......and if possible i would even wan to remove the pain for you entirely but we both noe tat its not possible......i would do anything for you.....tat is if you would let me help.......you dont have to reply to this.....but noe this.....i will always be there for you......no matter wat happens.......

Anna......i like you.......

Lessons learnt with pain are the ones tat humans would remember the most.......

Cherish the ones you love around you......

2006-09-02T19:29:00.000+08:00

I recently recieved the news tat someone around me has left this world ......this makes me think....it makes me really sad as i onli recently lost 2 of my kins oso.....this also makes me think tat i should do something veri important.......

I like you.....and i hope you feel the same way.....i noe you dont noe who i'm refering to but.....i will tell you in person soon.......i like you and hope you share the same feelings......i wan to be wit you and i noe you told me you dont have the same feelings but i wont mind you rejecting but i dont wish tat this will affect our relationship........

Cherish the ones you love before you lose them and tell the ones you love tat you love them.....i love you.....

Dreams....

2006-08-31T15:44:00.000+08:00

Dreams.....

Wat do they mean????

I've heard tat dreams can be 3 things.....

Firstly, they reflects our deepest desires....

Secondly, they reflects our deepest fears.....

Lastly, they are a form of premonition(visions of the future).....

I just had a dream last sunday......and i really hope tat its a premonition and not my deepest desires.......

Hoping.......

Days I Will NEVER Forget For My Entire Life....

2006-08-26T23:24:00.000+08:00

10 of jun 2001 - The day I first felt love.....and i didnt even noe....

24 of feb 2004-The day the first gal I loved stead with a good friend of mine....

24 of mar 2004-The day the first gal I loved broke up with her first stead.....

5 of june 2004-The day the first gal I loved stead for the second time......

27 feb 2005-The day I loved a second gal......

24 of may 2005- The day the first gal I loved broke up with her second stead.....

No matter what happens,you will always be my mei and no matter what you do you will always have a place in my heart.......forever.......

Love....wat is Love????

2006-08-21T20:30:00.000+08:00

Wat is love?? To me, Love is the instant split sec feeling tat a person give you.....like wat my mei mei said.....Love cannot be nurtured....it is smth tat is present from the start.....its like you can like a person for 3 years but tat person will keep rejecting you and tat person may end up wit a person who he/she have onli known for 6 months....it just cant be helped.....

Love................Hate............

I dont have either of such emotions anymore......i cant even love rite,wat right do i have to hate......
I dont mean to sound so emo but its true......i want to be devoid of emotions so tat i can concentrate on more impt things like my studies and my story......

Haiz.....tats enough for today.......

Emotions Are Merely Obstacles In The Path To True Power......

Bad Day.....

2006-08-19T22:29:00.000+08:00

I noe tat i said tat i will not use this blog like a diary but i really have nowhere else to do this so here goes....

Today is a total bad day......first time in the morn i went to sch and took the java lab test with full confidence but when after i finished....i was.....

Haiz.....then got home and played my Silkroad online.....and suddenly i just felt terrible....i dont noe wat came over me but i was just like suddenly sian diao.....must be wat you call mood swing....haiz....now even no mood to blog.....

Greatest thing you will ever learn is just to love and be loved in return....

The War Of Three....

2006-08-19T17:42:00.000+08:00

This is the first part of my story....hope you enjoy.....

The silence of the ever-serene Plateau of Death was broken by the ringing melody of metal striking against metal.

“You can never wish to defeat me with this level of skill, Haven!” The man in white who slit his opponent’s arm exclaimed. “You will suffer just like your friends lying over there!” He shouted, pointing to the six motionless bodies lying not far from them.

The battle had started five hours ago and Haven was at his breaking point. But at the mention of his friends, anger coursed through him, bestowing him vigor. Haven picked up his sword and with a roar charged at his opponent with all his might.

“I have the responsibility of protecting my friends! I will not die to the likes of you!” Haven screamed as his sword connected with his opponent’s.

The instant he parried Haven’s blow, the man in white twisted his sword to the left and brought it upwards with staggering might, intending to cleave his opponent in two. Haven took the full force of the blow. Slowly, Haven fell to the ground as strength, like his blood flowed away from his body.

“Now, I shall kill you and liberate you and put an end to the prophecy.” The man in white twirled his sword in a flourish, preparing for the finishing blow when a voice boomed from above that struck fear into mortal hearts.

“My, my. They were still so weak even after so long?” The voice said more to himself than to the man in white. “They can’t even summon them?”

“Where are you?!” The man in white proclaimed bravely, though he reeked of fear, “Come out and face me, you coward!”

Just as he finished, a figure in pure obsidian robes and a pair of white angel wings slowly descended. The moment the man’s feet touched the ground, he walked towards the motionless female body in red. The man in black muttered something under his breath as he reached the body.

Slowly, the crimson-clad girl opened her eyes. “Elyrean?” was the first thing that she said as she saw the man in black.

“Hush. Rest well, Princess.” The man in black said gently before a sudden rustling of cloth reached his ears. “I wouldn’t do that if I were you.” He said rather cheerfully to the ashen-clad man who had a throwing dagger in hand.

He didn’t even turn around! How did he know what I was doing?! The man in white thought to himself.

“You shall die with them!” The man in white shouted with a slight tremble in his voice.

“My apologies, Princess. I wouldn’t like you to witness this.” The man in black said ever so gently as he placed his hand over the girl’s cerulean eyes.

A shriek of agony was the last thing she heard before fading back into unconsciousness.

Not far from her, another voice spoke weakly with the last vestiges of life.

“Brother?”

Note!!!

2006-08-18T21:58:00.000+08:00

First and foremost.....I will not use this Blog like other ppl do....Tat is to use it as a diary....But I will just use it to present some of my thoughts and thing tat i found over the years.....To me this is more like a storing ground for my thoughts and most probably i will oso be posting my story up here for all to read and comment.....if you see this....plz read and comment on my story......